Afraid to say "Lolita"

I've been interested in Lolita fashion for a long time now. It started out just as a curiosity. I never really knew or cared about fashion in any sense. Jeans and band tees were all I needed. Then one day I started reading about Lolita, checking out blogs and articles and various sites, checking out the brands' web stores, and so on. One of the first things I came across was a Lolita confessions blog, and the first confession I read said something along the lines of "I've been interested in Lolita for many years, but haven't dared to even buy one dress until recently. I felt that I needed to do lots of research and know as much as possible or I would be rejected by more experienced Lolitas."

This confession instilled a fear in me. I'm already self-conscious and afraid to draw attention to myself, but the memory of that confession and what I have seen and experienced on blogs like Behind the Bows, make me afraid to call myself Lolita. I don't even refer to myself as a hopeful Lolita, a Lolita-to-be, or anything like that. I'm just "interested in Lolita fashion".

I bought a JSK from Bodyline. I'm honestly not sure whether it would get me labeled "ita" (which I think is a ridiculous, pointlessly rude term), but just in case, I don't exactly show it off. I did post photos of myself in it when I first received it, and then again when I received my petticoat, but I never tagged these photos because I didn't want it to end up on BTB, and I didn't want to risk being ripped apart by internet Lolitas.

I guess I shouldn't have picked such an out-there style, being so afraid of criticism. Yet here I am writing a public blog post about it.

I'm hoping that when I receive the second dress I bought, a simple Gothic piece, I'll be less afraid. Back in eighth grade I was a pseudo-Goth, so I figure that's more within my limited field of knowledge. Which is not to say I'm ditching the pink Bodyline piece. I'll just have to figure out a neat co-ord before daring to wear it and call myself Lolita.

Maybe I'm too ignorant about the world of fashion, but I don't understand the need for super rigid rules, not to mention young women on the internet harshly "reinforcing" these rules. I don't understand the need for harsh and hurtful terms like "ita" and especially "fatty-chan". (I don't understand the reason for judgement based on weight at all, but maybe that's just because I've always been fat and kind.) I've been told it's because fat people look bad in everything; that fat people bring a bad name to everything they're involved in; that picking apart a beginner's co-ord is just motivation for them to do better. In my opinion, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and motivation through degradation is never effective.

Mami and Madoka have arrived!

Found these beauties as a package-deal on eBay for $23.80 plus $11.00 shipping. They were being sold by mzgh09, who sells lots of different figures. For example, they are selling Homura and Sayaka together for $24.80 plus shipping here.

My payment for Madoka and Mami went through on October 15th and they arrived yesterday, the 28th. The figures are absolutely beautiful and I am very happy with this purchase!

I also have a Homura figure, purchased from nirakuasuka on eBay. Here they all are together:

I can't wait to get Sayaka and Kyoko to complete my collection. Then I just have to find all the other versions... ;D

Christmas shopping begins...

I love Christmastime.

Now that I live in a country where Halloween isn't a very big deal, Christmas is my favourite holiday. I've always enjoyed buying gifts for others, shopping around, trying to find the perfect thing to give to each friend and family member ... it's just fun! Here in Finland it's a bit more difficult for me to find these perfect things, but luckily I've got the internet.

Which brings us to what this post is really about, which is showing off the gift I got for my boyfriend. He's majorly into One Piece, and loves Boa Hancock so I ordered him this adorable Boa Hancock Chibi-Arts:

She's so cute I almost wanna keep her for myself! ;) I found her on AmiAmi.com. I paid a total of €29.41, the payment went through on October 21st, and the package had arrived by October 25th. I am seriously impressed by this because usually it takes at least three weeks for anything to get to me due to strict customs and just ... being tucked in the North, I guess. Definitely gonna buy from that site again sometime.

Anyway, Christmas shopping has started off on the right foot. Now I just have to wait until November the 7th to have the money to continue. I'm planning to get a Creeper plush for my Minecraft-obsessed little brother, and a Sentimental Circus Mouton the Elephant plush for my sister, who loves elephants. As for the rest of my family and friends ... the jury's still out.

Feminism, Lolita, Punk, and more

I saw a post on tumblr a while ago saying that maybe people don't like Lolita or hold it as socially acceptable because it takes up space while still being feminine, and that in our society femininity is meant to be small and elegant and unnoticeable. While that's a nice thought, at least on social justice grounds, I wholly disagree.

I think that people don't like Lolita for the same reasons they don't like other "rebellious" fashions that "go against the mainstream": they're weird. It has less to do with being feminine than it has to do with the taking up space part. If a sweet Lolita is walking down the street, there's no way you're gonna miss her. She's in a bright, noticeable colour - usually pastel pink, blue, yellow, lavender, green. Something that isn't commonplace in large quantities. Then she has her accessories and her her purse and most likely a wig and maybe even a parasol or a stuffed animal ... that's gonna attract attention. So everyone's looking at you, and you are, in their eyes, weird.

It's the same deal, though, if you're walking down the street and you've got a green liberty spikes goin', a battle jacket on, chains hanging from your jeans, and big ol' steel-toed platform boots strapped to your feet. Male or female, doesn't matter. You look aggressive, you look like you could be dangerous, and you look fucking weird.

The same argument can be made for anyone dressing in a Goth style, male or female, masculine or feminine. Metalheads, both male and female are subject to the same judgments, and that subculture is (a) mostly male and (b) masculine in pretty much everything involved. Even "emo/scene kids" get those looks and they're mostly just in jeans and t-shirts and a swoop-banged haircut. Basically, it's outside of what's considered a "normal" appearance, and therefore people don't like it (or they at least look at you strangely or think you yourself are strange).

What I'm saying is, I think that the OP of the tumblr post was just trying to wrangle a feminist argument out of something else they're interested in. Snap-judgments made against Lolitas and any other fashion groups and subcultures, in my opinion, have less to do with sex and gender issues than just a general lack of acceptance of anyone and anything different.

I was wearing my trusty devil-horn hat the other day, all black otherwise, and while I was walking down the street on my way home, a little girl in a pink snowsuit and a flower-covered hat passed me and gave me the biggest, sweetest, smile that I've ever seen. I smiled back automatically, it was so sweet. That little encounter not only brightened my day, but restored a little of my faith in humanity.

Hello.

Hi there! My name is Astral, and I am new here. I'm used to tumblr-style blogging, but I thought I'd give this type of blogging a whirl. I dunno what's going to come of it, but if you wanna stick around to see, I'd be honoured.

I'm a 20-year-old girl-woman living in Finland. I was born here, but spent most of my life in Canada. Just over a year ago, I returned to my native land to stay. My intention was to jump into school, but I quickly discovered that wasn't gonna happen. At present time, I'm working on bettering my mental health, and getting to a place where I'm able to study and/or work. 

I'm a sometimes-metalhead and a wannabe-author. I'm into fashion, art, literature, and a little bit of anime and manga. This blog may or may not become some kind of mish-mash of all of these. I enjoy exploring new places, shopping both online and in real life, and I'm addicted to wigs. Winter is my favourite season, although I'm still not used to Finland's darkness.